As you look around, you can probably see at least one Stanley cup on a desk, accumulating germs with the constantly exposed straw, just sitting there. These cups have a very targeted consumer group, including, but not limited to, middle aged moms, vegans, residents of Philadelphia, dance ritualists, anyone whose favorite color is ‘peach’, and people who spend a lot of their time at target. Here at Farmington High, Stanley cups have worked their way to the top. It’s like the new hydro flask, just so much less sensible. I mean I definitely thought school wide phases ended with Pokémon cards, but it appears I am wrong about that. 

Overall, Stanley is a super solid brand. They have so many different items to choose from that are far more sensible. Things like, camping pots, flasks, and normal water bottles that can keep your tea warm, (that includes a complimentary cup that screws on the top and comes off easily to pour your tea into,) and even wine coolers. The main thing we are talking about here (or making fun of, you choose) is the Stanley Quenchers. You know exactly which mug I’m talking about. 

These hunks of metal seem to be so inconvenient. You can’t tip it too far, or water will start to come out, you can’t ever cover the straw, and these people are bringing their water bottles into high school bathrooms, that’s disgusting. Another question that I am constantly asking is, is it worth it. You literally can’t even put it in your backpack, it’s such a weird shape, with a huge handle that seems so uncomfortable to hold onto. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t get the hype.

I spoke to some students about their opinions on Stanley cups and here’s what they said.

“I love it, I take it with me everywhere I go, except when I forget. Its nice because I can drink water any time. Also, it fits into most cup holders. There are cute color options, unlike other water bottles. Ice cubes last all day. The color selection is endless, there are so many, I can’t even name all of them. You can even mix and match. Except, I don’t think I would take it on a hike, that’s kind of self explanatory,” cheerleader, Brooke Nielson, said. 

It’s like everyone’s just trying to convince themselves that giving into the fad of the Stanley quencher was a good idea, and they definitely don’t regret it *wink wink.* What’s the point of a water bottle if you can’t take it on a hike? 

“I automatically lose respect for people that I see with those huge things. I just don’t see a reason to want a big cup instead of just a water bottle or something,” senior, Rachel Green, said.

The cups just don’t make sense. It’s ok to just cut your losses and get a normal water bottle, you won’t fall into a funky stereotype that way. However, if this is the life you have decided you want to live, good for you, you carry that cup girl. Just think twice before you set your Stanley on the public bathroom floor next time, you’re putting your mouth on that straw.