Birds

Birds

Sapphira Smith, Conspiracy Reporter

What are birds? Are they small winged poultry that impatiently waits for you to drop your sandwich so they can snatch it up? Or are they little robots, connected to some database somewhere, watching and recording our every move for the purpose of, one day, destroying the human race?

There are so many different species of birds that we find absolutely magnificent because of varying factors like wingspan, color etc. There are a few types however that are despised by many. Have you ever heard someone say, “I just love seagulls, they are such pretty birds.” The chances that you’ve actually heard those words come out of someone’s mouth, and they were being serious, are low. Pigeons are looked on the same way, with disgust.

The point I am trying to make here is that there could be normal birds that are actually birds. These are the species that no one would touch, like a parrot, or a falcon. But then we have the birds that happen to be everywhere- Pigeons and Seagulls- and these could be robots. Obviously not every bird is going to be a robot. There has to be some chance that birds are real. A deterrent, making you second guess your questions surrounding the reality of those same flying creatures.

“Birds are definitely robots. I think the reason why migration exists is because they all need to return the footage and data they’ve gathered to whoever controls them, and then they slowly come back. Those tiny brains in their heads are where they store the data. Once you think about it, it makes sense,” junior, Aidan MacKay, said. 

“I think there’s a chance that some birds are real, and some birds aren’t. I’ve had to dissect birds before, and they seem very real based on that. However, I have seen a friend of mine build a robot bird, and it was very convincing. The whole idea of birds is weird. I don’t want to make my life more complicated by thinking about the reality of them,” senior, Laurel Tibbits, said.

Overall, the concept of birds being fake is a very realistic one. Even if you don’t believe they are robots, you could still admit that something about them is just strange. After all, Alfred Hitchcock did make a movie about them attacking humans for no reason. Is this a far-fetched future? Who knows? So the final question really is, do the birds work for the bourgeoisie?